When skinny jeans started hitting the shelves, I remember thinking I will from this day on choose to not be trendy. Who cares! ...Well I cared. I tried not to. But I wanted to feel pretty. I had tried some on and even bought a few pairs and each time I tried to pour my little legs into those sausage casings for pants, I felt like I was less of a person, even though I still had more of me that couldn’t quite squeeze in. And I tried for a long time. It doesn’t make sense that a skinny jean didn’t help me feel skinny. And I am not fat, but I sure felt like there was something to question about my curves.
I am not a model. I have a real body. -A mom body, distorted by pregnancy and birth, by late nights that morphed into early mornings and left me with puffy eyes and saggy other areas. I am right on the crest between regular sizes and petite ones and my waist is like a pot of water that is full to the brim and could spill over at any moment, but just somehow doesn’t.
But I am strong and I have the mother bear instincts firing in full force. And I am a woman who has many sisters of both biological origin and of blood, sweat and tears, who carry me and mentor me and comfort me. I have value and they have eyes to see it for me, which is one of the greatest acts of kindness we can give each other.
The other day I braved a shopping moment in hopes of finding some jeans. I tried on about 6 pair and noted on each what was good and what was not so good, knowing at the end of it that I was going to probably have to settle for one of them. And then I tried on the last pair. And they fit. ME. Like they were made for me! I didn’t know that was a thing. It had not even entered my mind in the realm of possiblity that I would find MY pants.
I am wearing skinny jeans as I write this and they are wonderful. Now I feel good. I feel happy. I am not fat and I shouldn’t have to feel fat to fit into a style or fashion that isn’t quite right, for me. Isn’t it amazing how the right fit can change your world. Change your outlook. Change your body image. I just had to find a way to still be me. And that is my point. In a world where we are all trying to find ourselves and are chasing fashion and friends, what we need is to find our fit with people who champion us and love us and lift us. Because we can’t be our best selves unless we are our real selves. So go out there and just be you!